


Mating Habits

by melonbread (ApocalypseUmbra)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempted Seduction, First Meetings, Fluff, M/M, Owls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 14:43:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5748364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApocalypseUmbra/pseuds/melonbread
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Of all things to happen, Akaashi hadn't expected something as ridiculous as this to ever occur, and while he was half-asleep no less. He supposed it could be a blessing in disguise but honestly, the only blessing he wanted was a nap.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mating Habits

Labs were a pain, especially when they ran late. Unfortunately, Akaashi wasn’t allowed to do this particular lab in his dorm for some arbitrary reason that he hadn’t been informed of. Chemistry had never been his strong suit, but even he wouldn’t have expected to be stuck in an empty lab at midnight on a Friday.

  
It was probably unwise to try and push through to finish, considering he was so exhausted that he couldn’t even read the words on the paper anymore, but he had worked too long and too hard to give up now. He may have been absolutely awful at science, but one thing he wasn’t was a quitter. He could feel the bags under his eyes darkening by the second.

  
Perhaps someday he would be able to use…whatever he was supposed to be learning, something about dissolved elements and mixtures, but right now he just wanted it over. Why he had to take chemistry when it was nowhere near his major was anyone’s guess. He could have taken earth science, or astronomy, or even biology, but he was here, trying to keep track of what was in each beaker while also not dropping onto the table and falling asleep. At least it was quiet.

  
The lab door slammed open so forcefully that it woke Akaashi up and almost made him drop his pen. The man standing in the doorway was tall, fairly attractive, but undeniably disheveled. His hair was sticking up in some places, drooping in others, and the rest of it was just a mess. The man’s eyes, opened wide, instantly found Akaashi, who felt vaguely flustered at the intensity of his gaze.

  
“Hi,” the man said with a bright smile. “Do you have any chloroform?”

  
“Do I…excuse me?” Akaashi asked, blinking slowly. That sounded a pretty suspicious, if he was being honest. Should he call the police?

  
“Chloroform. The stuff you knock people out with? I need some,” the man said. He walked into the room and, finding the closet, attempted to open it. “Do you have the key?”

  
“I…no, I don’t. Who are you?” Akaashi asked. He wondered if he had actually fallen asleep and this was just a weird dream. If it was, he was really going to have to readjust his subconscious if he was dreaming of people like this. Maybe he had weirder taste than he thought.

  
“Oh, I’m Bokuto,” the man said cheerfully, flashing another smile, as if he wasn’t attempting to break into the closet at that very moment. “Could you give me a hand with this? I’m kind of in a hurry.”

  
“What?” Akaashi asked, squinting at him. “No, I’m not going to help you rob the closet.”

  
“No, I’m not robbing it, I just really need chloroform!” Bokuto replied. “I guess any knockout gas stuff would work, but I only know the one name. Are there a lot?”

  
“Of anesthetics? I don’t know, probably,” Akaashi said, still very confused by the entire situation. “Why do you need it?”

  
“Oh. It’s not _that_ big a deal,” Bokuto said, laughing awkwardly. “I only need a little anyway.”

  
“Yes, but for what?” Akaashi repeated. He could feel a headache coming on form the combined lack of sleep and this new stress source.

  
“I’d rather not say, actually,” Bokuto said, smiling apologetically. “I promise it’s not a big deal.”

  
“Right. Got it. Not a big deal,” Akaashi sighed, putting his pen in his pocket. “In that case, I’m calling the police.”

  
“What?” Bokuto yelped. Akaashi reached for his bag on the table, but Bokuto caught his wrist before he could grab his phone. “Please don’t!”

  
“You’re asking me for _chloroform_ at _midnight_ and you won’t tell me why. Am I really supposed to think that’s not a big deal?” Akaashi asked him coldly. He twisted his wrist slightly, but Bokuto’s grip was unfortunately firm. Akaashi wished he could stop thinking about how muscular this guy was. “Let me go.”

  
“Are you going to call the police?” Bokuto asked suspiciously.

  
“Yes.”

  
“Then I can’t.”

  
Akaashi inhaled deeply and breathed out a huff. When he’d left home for college, this really wasn’t the direction he thought his life would take. “I won’t call the police if you tell me what’s going on. Fair?” he proposed.

  
“I can’t tell you!” Bokuto said nervously. “It’s really embarrassing.”

  
“I promise I won’t laugh,” Akaashi said, barely holding back the urge to simply punch this guy and run. But if he actually turned out to be dangerous, that would be a really poor decision. Also, again, Bokuto was way more muscular than Akaashi could ever hope to be.

  
“You promise?” Bokuto asked warily. As Akaashi nodded, he sighed. “Okay, so I’m a bio major and I’m studying owls. Specifically their mating habits.” Akaashi suddenly didn’t want to know what was going on. “And so I’m trying to get these two owls to mate, but the girl isn’t into it, but I really need to get this to work. So I put them both in this big cage and she _really_ freaks out and—“

  
“Wait,” Akaashi cut in, holding up a hand to stop whatever bizarre story Bokuto was going to continue. “Are you telling me you have two owls locked in a cage _without someone watching them?_ ”

  
“Uh. Kind of?” Bokuto mumbled, suddenly getting very quiet. Akaashi could have sworn he could feel his blood pressure rising.

  
“And one is extremely angry?”

  
“…Yes?”

  
“And you need to chloroform to...?”

  
“Knock her out so she doesn’t hurt anyone!” Bokuto explained in a rush. “I don’t want to, but I don’t know what else to do!”

  
“Did you try maybe getting her _out_ of the cage?” Akaashi asked irately.

  
“You try getting her out when she’s like that! I almost _died!_ ” Bokuto exclaimed.

  
“Fine,” Akaashi said, glaring. “I will.” With that, he strode over to the door and yanked it open. Once he was out in the hall, he could hear faint screeching from what he assumed were the owls in question. He quickly walked down the hall, Bokuto at his heels, and found the door where the hellish screams were coming from.

  
The door opened to what might have been the most ridiculous sight Akaashi had seen that night, and he had just encountered the visual disaster that Bokuto called hair. The overhead lights were off, with the only light in the room coming from strategically placed candles. Stupid saxophone music was playing somewhere in the background, almost entirely drowned out by the screeching mess in the owl cage. It looked like an attempt at seduction. The overall effect was slightly disturbing and slightly hilarious, but mostly it looked like a terrible idea.

  
“Why are the lights off?” Akaashi asked loudly, dreading the answer.

  
“Mood lighting!” Bokuto replied frantically, looking panicked. “I have to set the mood for them!”

  
“Why is there music?” If Bokuto said “mood music,” Akaashi would have to abandon all hope for humanity.

  
“Mood music!” God dammit. “I have to make sure they’re comfortable! It’s their _first time!_ ”

  
“First… _what?_ ” Akaashi sputtered.

  
Bokuto suddenly looked very serious and replied, “Didn’t _you_ want _your_ first time to be special? It’s a big moment!”

  
“Owls have no concept of virginity!” Akaashi shouted over the noise, barely comprehending that he was having this conversation at this moment.

  
“Okay, listen who’s the owl expert here?”

  
“Clearly neither of us!” Akaashi replied scathingly. He couldn’t believe that his brain was currently linking mood lighting, Bokuto, and _owls_ together at the moment. Likely a product of exhaustion. That was all. Time to change the topic. “Where are the gloves?”

  
“The what?” Bokuto shouted, leaning closer to hear.

  
“The gloves! The handler’s gloves!” Akaashi yelled back, leaning close enough to almost touch Bokuto’s nose. He pulled away quickly.

  
“Oh, those!” Bokuto hurried over to the cabinet on the wall and pulled out a pair of brown leather gloves that he tossed to Akaashi. Akaashi shoved them on, making sure they were securely over his forearms. He took a deep breath and tried not to think about how he was essentially grabbing onto two feathery demons. He opened the cage door.

  
Neither owl took any notice of him until he grabbed a leg, at which point they started screeching at him. He pushed one owl away while he untangled the mess of wings and claws until he drew out a puffy, angry owl, which he promptly locked in a cage. As soon as one was gone, the other calmed down. The first owl still looked a little angry – he hadn’t realized owls could emote so clearly - but seemed to calm down the longer it was alone.

  
Akaashi peeled off the gloves and threw them onto the table with a sigh. It hadn’t been as bad as he had been expecting, but it had been pretty bad nonetheless. Bokuto had walked closer and was staring at him as though he had just descended from the heavens into the bio lab. “What’s your name?” he asked quietly, almost reverently.

  
“Akaashi,” he replied. He didn’t know if he was hoping he was misreading the look in Bokuto’s eyes – it had to just be from the candelight.

  
“Akaashi,” Bokuto repeated. “I like it.”

  
“Thank you?” Akaashi said, not really knowing how to respond. Bokuto seemed the type to simply say anything that popped into his head, but having that sort of honesty in his face was a little much.

  
“No, really, you’re incredible!” Bokuto exclaimed. He looked genuinely ecstatic, like he meant what he was saying from the bottom of his heart. Akaashi, understandably, felt a little flustered by such candid praise.

  
“It wasn’t that big a deal,” Akaashi shrugged. “They were fine once they were in separate cages.”

  
“Yeah, but I couldn’t do anything, and I’ve been studying this for years!” Bokuto said. “Have you done stuff like this before?”

  
The ardent admiration in Bokuto’s voice was almost too embarrassing to stand. Akaashi could hardly look at him. The fact that he wasn’t yet blushing was a sign of his own determined willpower. “No, this is a first,” Akaashi said, glancing over at Bokuto. He quickly decided that making direct eye contact right now was a bad idea.

  
“Wow! That’s amazing!” Bokuto said excitedly, leaning forward eagerly. His nose could have touched Akaashi’s if he was just a few inches closer. “ _You’re_ amazing, Akaashi!”

  
“It’s nothing,” Akaashi muttered, pulling away slightly. He wondered briefly if Bokuto was doing this on purpose, because he honestly couldn’t understand how someone could say things like that with a straight face and be serious about it.

  
“You must have been born for owl-handling! Seriously!” Bokuto straightened up and Akaashi cursed those few inches of height difference that forced him to look up to see Bokuto properly. “It was like fate that we met tonight!”

  
Akaashi felt every other thought leave his head except for that sentence. What kind of a person could say that so casually? “Excuse me?” Akaashi asked quietly, knowing that if he raised his voice at all, he’d end up screaming or squeaking.

  
“Well, I mean, I found you right when I needed you and you’re kind of perfect?” Bokuto said, laughing awkwardly, but somehow endearingly and Akaashi regretted every choice in his life that led him to be standing in a biology lab at midnight with a boy whose hair defied gravity and who may have stolen his heart. Now that the owls had settled down, it was quiet, save for the soft music still playing through the speakers, and nothing moved except the candle flames. “And I think we have—“ Akaashi felt his heart stop. It was ridiculous, all of this was ridiculous, and he was _falling for it_. “—chemistry.”

  
Akaashi could almost hear a record scratching in the background, like this was a scene from a terrible movie. He let his eyes close as he took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. “You ruined it,” he said simply.

  
“Huh?” Bokuto replied, sounding genuinely confused, as if he wasn’t the one who had said a terrible, cheesy pick-up line when Akaashi was absolutely ready to make out in a public place where angry owls were watching with their beady little eyes.

  
“You ruined it,” Akaashi repeated. He heaved a sigh as he crossed the room to shut off the speakers and flip the lights back on, making the owls squawk in their cages. “That was completely unnecessary and I’m a little disappointed, to be honest.”

  
“What? But it was so funny! Because, y’know, you’re a chem major and all—“

  
“I’m a photographer,” Akaashi interrupted, finally turning back to face him.

  
“Huh?”

  
“I’m a photography major. Chemistry’s just a core class,” Akaashi said. “It’s on the curriculum, everyone has to take it. How do you not know that?”

  
“Oh. Well, I took bio!” Bokuto looked confused and embarrassed and Akaashi could privately admit that it was pretty cute. “But, um, I was still serious about what I said.”

  
“Excuse me?”

  
“I mean, you’re kind of perfect, y’know,” Bokuto said with a little laugh. “You’re good with owls and all my friends tell me I’m basically an owl anyway.”

  
Akaashi wished had more pride as a human being. Instead, he was being wooed by someone who had almost drugged two owls because he was likely an idiot. And the worst part was, it was _still working_. “I need to finish my work and go to sleep,” he said, walking to the door and refusing to look at Bokuto’s no doubt pouting face. He was not going to give Bokuto his number, he was not going to continue this, because if he did, Akaashi felt certain that he was going to be stuck with Bokuto for the rest of his life and he wasn’t going to make a commitment like that while half asleep.

  
“Oh…” Akaashi, against his better judgement, turned around and saw exactly what he had expected: a sad-looking Bokuto who was doing his best to not look sad. It was utterly unconvincing. Akaashi could pretend that the sight didn’t tug at his heartstrings, but that would be a lie.

  
He was going to regret this.

  
“Give me your hand,” Akaashi said and Bokuto immediately complied. Akaashi pulled his pen from his pocket and scribbled his phone number on Bokuto’s wrist. “You can call me in the morning.”  
“Really?!” Bokuto asked, gleefully and a bit too loudly. “You’re sure? Wait, don’t change your mind! I promise I’ll call!”

  
“Fine. Just call when I’m actually awake,” Akaashi replied. Which might be in a week, if Akaashi had to stay up all night to finish his lab.

  
“I promise!” Bokuto said, staring at the numbers on his arm in awe. Akaashi couldn’t believe how weak they both were.

  
“I’ll see you later then,” Akaashi said. He was about to turn and leave when Bokuto grabbed his arm and pulled his closer. Bokuto then proceeded to gently kiss Akaashi’s cheek, softer than Akaashi would have expected from a boy as loud and rowdy as Bokuto.

  
“Until next time,” Bokuto said with a wide grin that Akaashi thought was too charming for anyone’s good.

  
“Right,” Akaashi said, clearing his throat and pulling away. “Right, I’ll just be going now. I’m sure I’ll see you some other time.” Akaashi managed to make it out of the room without doing something regrettable. Or rather, something else regrettable.

  
Akaashi safely made it back to his lab room and collapsed back into his chair. He had either just made the biggest mistake of his life, or met someone he couldn’t live without anymore. He supposed he would just have to wait and find out.

  
A sudden buzz from his phone startled Akaashi out of his reverie. He opened the text from an unknown number and groaned. The message read _“good night! i think i love you! (this is bokuto by the way)”_

Akaashi gently placed his head on the table in a fervent attempt to cool his furious blush. This was definitely a mistake but somehow, he hadn’t yet started to regret it.

**Author's Note:**

> this could totally plausibly happen like i could totally see this happening. akaashi's hella thirsty let's be real here guys


End file.
